The primary focus in the struggle to keep the Jewish traditions alive has always been the family. Each Jewish family sees itself as the repository of Jewish knowledge and values, to be passed on through the years. This may seem strange to Christians who see the church as ultimately responsible for keeping the Christian faith alive, but Jews have traditionally viewed themselves as the keepers of their traditions.
It is possible to celebrate each and every major holiday within Judaism in the home (especially since the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem in ad70). There are no biblical commandments given to force synagogue attendance. Even in Hebrews 10:25, where it says, “Do not forsake the gathering (literally: the ‘synagogue-ing’) of yourselves together”, it is couched as a negative admonition, a “don’t forget…” rather than a “you must...”
So when we want to examine the heart of the issues involved in keeping our Jewish lifestyles alive, it is to the nuclear (and extended) family we should look, not to a religious institution. The synagogue can assist through its role of being one of a group of teachers involved in the process, but perhaps not the central teacher.           Additionally, Jewish understanding of human behavior is based in part on the concept that what you do is more important, or holds more weight, than what you believe. Therefore, your actions form the real expression of your faith. It is not enough to merely intellectually assent to religious truths; you must act on those truths. If you can label yourself as a member of a group, your life must show that you are a member of that group. In the Jewish worldview, indeed, ‘talk is cheap’!
To apply this knowledge of Jewish values means that we as Messianic Jews must take a deep, hard look at ourselves and what we are handing on to our children. It has been stated recently in a variety of forums that your success in understanding and teaching Jewish ways to your children really rests in your answer to one deep question: Will your grandchildren be Jewish? Unless you can say with confidence that this is so, you have not truly finished your work within your own family.
Unfortunately, in the past, the Jewish community has seen, almost without exception, that the children of Jews who have made commitments to Yeshua exhibit little or nothing of a Jewish lifestyle after their commitment. Many have disappeared into churches; feeling that Jewishness is something involved with what their “parent(s) used to be”. In the worst case scenarios, those children of Jewish believers during earlier times have been among the worst anti-Semites of all (read a biography of Felix Mendelssohn, the great composer, for a slice of this shameful history).
In the past several decades (since about 1970) there has been a “push” among Jewish believers to retain their Jewish practices while still being committed followers of Yeshua. At first, many churches were shocked by this idea. After all, churches proclaimed, weren’t the “new people of God” found in the church supposed to be made up of Jew and Gentile together? Didn’t Yeshua “do away with” the ceremonial practices of the Old Testament Law? Wasn’t everyone who believed in Yeshua supposed to be a member of a church?
Messianic believers worked out a new way to live—or perhaps, better stated, returned to the ancient ways. In reconsidering their relationship to the Jewish holidays and guidelines for living found in the Tenach (the Jewish term for Old Testament), Jewish and Gentile believers interested in worshipping in a more Jewish way saw that historically the Christian Church had oftentimes “thrown the baby out with the bath water”. In the Church’s haste to leave what they considered “archaic Jewish laws” behind, they had also left behind the holidays and traditions from the Tenach that were vital in imparting God’s ways of living to His people. Rather than seeing the celebration of the Jewish holidays as inappropriate for worship, after almost 30 years, we can now see that the holidays, as commanded by God, are great teachers of scripture and an inspiration to follow the God of Abraham more closely.
Thirty years ago, this was not a popular message to hear, especially in America. But at the same time, many in America began to understand that dissolving your heritage into the “melting pot” of America was perhaps not a great idea. In the early 70’s there were many groups who started to see that we should value the diverse cultures within our nation, rather than necessarily seeking a “one-size-fits-all” American citizenry. As boatloads of refugees and other immigrants came to settle in America, they set up their own congregations. Laotians, Koreans, Vietnamese, Mexicans, Cubans, and many others founded congregations where they could speak their own language and celebrate the unique heritage and culture of their homeland. Thus, the concept of “unity” of various believers in Yeshua, not necessarily  “uniformity” of congregational practice was highlighted through the establishment of these various congregations.
Unfortunately, there are some Christians that, through a lack of real understanding, question the validity and practice of messianic congregations.To them the New Testament seems to have quite a few negative things to say about Jewish practices. Questions about the validity and biblical truth of Jewish practices in the light of New Testament teaching have been answered in dozens of books, papers, and articles in the past 20 years of the Messianic movement. The bulk of these objections to the appropriateness of Jewish practices are based in fear and ignorance.  It is our hope that through knowledge and understanding the Christian community will become more comfortable with its Jewish roots.
So, if we assume that a Jewish lifestyle is appropriate and perhaps beneficial for believers in Yeshua today, how do we guarantee its survival? As God says in Deuteronomy 6: “Impress them [these commandments] on your children.” Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up”… In other words, the ‘commandments’ (not just the 10 ‘big ones’ but also the hundreds of others) are to be always on your hearts and on your lips-an intricate part of daily life. They are not for discussion just once a week at a set time. They involve your whole life cycle as parents.This can be a heavy task, and is an awesome responsibility, speaking as a parent of two.
What kind of practical outworking does this kind of commitment involve? Children learn by example. We must show them that “our way” is part of who and what they are. “Brainwashing” has a bad connotation, but in a certain sense it is an accurate description of the process of parenting. We wish our children to be guided by the precepts that we think are the best. But the process is different from brainwashing, because we want the child to be an active, negotiating participant in the process. In the end, we do not desire a puppet who moves only when we pull the strings, but an independent person who sees the various choices in life, and chooses God’s ways.
Very well—where are we now? In the ~30 years since the beginnings of the (modern) Messianic movement, what have we learned about teaching our children about their Jewish roots? What is necessary for the Jewishness of the Messianic Movement to survive and even grow? These are important concerns that require much more discussion. But certain questions can help us evaluate our lives.
1) If I claim that my child is Jewish, how is being Jewish part of our daily lives? Talk is cheap, especially on this point. What do we do that is uniquely Jewish? Eat bagels? (Enjoying bagels is not uniquely Jewish anymore, I’m afraid!) Make a list to show yourself and your children that there are some things that are distinctively Jewish about your home. Here are some suggestions: Worshipping on the Sabbath, celebrating the Jewish holidays, learning Hebrew, supporting emotionally and/or financially the state of Israel, reading Jewish periodicals, contributing money to Jewish charities, having Shabbat dinner together, keeping Passover, learning about great Jewish heroes, having a bar/bat mitzvah. This list can go on and on. Simply put, we should not call ourselves Jews if all our activities are “Christian”, merely because we have Jewish DNA
2) What is our attitude toward the Jewish people in general as portrayed in our home? Do we talk about the Jewish community as “them” rather than as “us”? Do we differentiate between “good Jews” (Messianic Jews) and “those Jews” (non-believers)? Do we have any non-believing Jewish friends, or have we driven them away?
   3) Are our children equipped to explain how they believe to various people at school or in the community? Can they explain their beliefs both to Jewish and Gentile friends? Do they understand that being Jewish is an important part of their lives, or are they embarrassed about it for any reason?
As we pass on our Messianic Jewish heritage from this generation to the next, we must realize it is a daunting task that cannot be taken for granted. It requires work, wisdom, dedication, and a considerable sense of humor.But our goal is the same as the rest of the Jewish community—we are striving to have Jewish grandchildren to carry on our faith. In this day and age there is no higher calling.

Patrice Fischer—who says she doesn’t have any grandchildren of her own as yet, but whose children are third generation Messianic Jews, are the grandchildren of George and Marianne Fischer, survivors of the Holocaust in Hungary as Messianic Jews, now living in Willow Grove, PA.